


Hallowed Out

by scarletrebel



Series: We Are Guardians [1]
Category: Destiny (Video Game), Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: (they respawn), Gen, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2015-10-09
Packaged: 2018-04-25 15:29:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4966321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletrebel/pseuds/scarletrebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan makes a mistake, Gavin pays the price, and Michael tries to act like nothing's changed. </p><p>(AH Destiny AU created by madkingray on tumblr)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hallowed Out

**Author's Note:**

> The 'We Are Guardians' series is a place for me to put all of my AH Destiny AU one-shots. Some will be related to others but overall, you can read each as an individual story.

It’s Michael who first notices Gavin shaking.

He’s at the Tower, handing in bounties, and he spots Gavin materialise down on the main balcony. It’s been a few days since Michael has seen him. They’ve all been trying to keep themselves busy since managing to get the Vanguard off their backs about the incident in the Hellmouth. Ryan, unsurprisingly after being under so much scrutiny, more so than anyone. Still, it hasn’t gone unnoticed by the rest of the fireteam that he disappears for weeks at a time. 

Gavin doesn’t immediately move, which is Michaels first red flag. Gavin is constantly moving,  _where are we going, what are we doing, let’s go come on let’s do something_ – but eventually he walks slowly towards the vaults.

Michael thinks Gavin looks smaller, shrunken in. There’s no spring in his step and it’s freaking Michael out. Maybe it’s been a while since Gavin’s left the Tower and he’s still finding his foot in Guardian duties. Maybe it’s the opposite way around and he hasn’t been back for a long time. Maybe something bad happened on a mission and Gavin needs time to get over it. 

For a second, Michael resolves to let Gavin do just that, give him his time to sort his head out.

The feeling doesn’t last long, though. He notices Gavin’s fingers shaking and deleting and repeating words when trying to place items into his vault. Michael strides over to his friend from the bounty tracker. 

“Gav?” He asks, not feeling like making small talk. 

Gavin looks at him and it sends a shot of anger through his chest. 

“What happened.” He demands as Gavin’s wide yellow eyes blink at him. The Hunter splutters, half formed words coming out of his mouth that finally coalesce into a shuddering breath. 

Michael grabs his hand and tells his Ghost to take them to a quiet spot in the Cosmodrome. 

* * *

Ryan tried to ignore how warm the blade felt after he ran Gavin through with it. Like it was pleased, like it made it stronger to take a Guardians Light. 

Like it made _him_ stronger. 

He pushes that feeling far, far down inside of him and ignores the way the edges of his mind try to drag it forward. He loses that fight, though. He can feel himself so easily letting the thoughts run rampant in his mind. 

He felt it, and it’s impossible to ignore. He watched Gavin’s body disappear and it felt good to take Light away from something. 

It made him feel powerful and doesn’t he hunger for it? Doesn’t he want more? He had heard only tales of the incursion on the Moon so many generations ago, how Crota’s blade had ripped through thousands of Guardians. He had been impossible to defeat; invincible. Could he recreate that? He wants to, he finds, he knows he could, who else would be able to but him? Who else knows the Hive, especially now, as well as he does? He craves that power, he wants it, wants to drain the Light from the sky and _take it_ \--

He rips his helmet off of his head and watches it bounce away from him. It hits the divider and Ryan watches the blue lights of the map behind him dance in the visor.

This place was set up a while ago by Guardians to map out the Cosmodrome, but barely anyone comes down here anymore. The occasional Vandal, maybe, Fallen checking their territory but otherwise Ryan is alone, sat on one leg whilst the other one dangles off of the dusty controls. He wants nothing more than that right now. 

He’d been alone whilst waiting for Gavin’s Ghost to bring him back. His own Ghost was too damaged, too broken to help Gavin out so he had to wait. He didn’t think it would take as long as it did, but when Gavin finally materialised a whole day later, it was ironic that Ryan didn’t know what to say to him. 

Gavin had said nothing. Simply stared at Ryan with wide, hallowed eyes, turned on his heel and damn near tripped over his shaking legs, disappearing to orbit as soon as he was as far away from him as possible.

Ryan grabs the sword from where it’s resting against the controls near his knee. It’s dull; he realises. Without hesitating he begins sharpening it, using his hand to send his void energy scraping against the bone until the edge is sharp. Black sparks fly off of it and the blade hums. 

It’s so loud in Ryan’s ears that he doesn’t hear the rapid sounds of someone jogging down the metal stairs. 

“Come on,” Michael is saying, walking briskly towards him. “We’re leaving.”

“And going where?”

“Back to the Tower, asshole.” There’s an edge to his voice Ryan doesn’t like, but knows he deserves.

“No.” 

Michael bristles, a frown no doubt forming and hidden behind his helmet. 

“Get up. We’re going to the Tower.”

“You are. I’m not.”

“Ryan,” Michael stops, adjusts himself, adjusts his plan of attack. He lets out a breath. “Gavin’s just shaken up, okay? He doesn’t really care; you know what he’s like. If you apologise to him it’ll be okay, dipshit. Now come on.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Like hell it isn’t.”

“Michael,” Ryan’s mouth opens and closes like he’s gasping for something, for a way to make Michael understand. But nothing comes to him, so he goes back to sharpening his sword. “Just. Go back to the Tower. Tell Gavin I’m sorry.”

“For a Warlock you’re so fucking dumb,” Michael snarls, moving closer to Ryan. “Gavin doesn’t even want a fucking apology. He wants you. He wants his friend back in the Tower telling him shit he doesn’t understand or fucking care about, okay? Don’t you get that?”

Ryan stops his movements. He exhales through his nose and regards Michael carefully. 

“I can’t go back. I’m not – there’s no -”

There’s  _nothing_. Ryan’s not sure if he can even feel the Light inside of him anymore and it doesn’t even scare him. He’s changing too much and too fast and he can’t control it. But he doesn’t think he  _wants_  to.

Michael seems to stop then, calm down a bit and catch his breath. He finally notices that Ryan doesn’t have his helmet on and looks around for it. Finally he spots it resting against the faux wall meant to separate the room into two smaller parts. He turns back again, takes his own helmet off and holds it with the crook of his elbow against his side. 

You only see the scar Ray’s metal fingers left in a harsh light. The Tower is constantly bathed in a warm glow, so it’s barely noticeable, blending in with Michael’s human complexion. Although Ryan suspects Ray always sees it. The way it curves down from Michaels temple and then splits into two thin lines along his jawline. To the person who put it there, it must be impossible to miss.

Ryan can’t find himself looking away from it, he sees it so rarely. He wonders briefly if Gavin will have a scar. 

“You’re worried about hurting someone. About killing one of us, right?”

Michael doesn’t quite understand. Ryan’s worried about killing a lot of people. A lot of Guardians, a lot of civilians -- he hasn’t even let himself think about the possibility of hurting one of his friends.

He controlled it, for a little while, managed to get Cursed Thralls and Knights to leave the rest of his fireteam alone on missions but. Then it got worse. Then the Hive called out to him and he listened. Then a Knight gave him this sword and he took it, fused it with the Void power he controlled.

 ** _Then it got better_**  his mind screams.

Ryan nods and lets Michael continue. 

“You’re not going to hurt us. We won’t let you. Dammit, Ryan. We said the same fucking thing to Ray. _You_  said the same thing to Ray. And if anything you’ve got this thing under much better control than he did," he gestures vaguely to the scar on his face and Ryan looks away, wincing. “I didn’t drop Ray after he did this to me because he’s my friend. He’s my teammate and I care about him. Gavin feels exactly the same; he’s more concerned about you, about what the Darkness is doing to you. He wants you to come home so we can help.”

“It’s different. You can’t just yank armour off of me, Michael. You just – It’s different, it’s. Inside of me. I have to deal with this. Alone.”

Ryan feel’s a little bit foolish, dramatic, even. They’re words that he never expected to have to say, or feel like he had to say. The feeling passes when Michael bends down to pick up his helmet off of the floor and chucks it to him. 

Ryan catches it effortlessly but says nothing in return. He can feel Michael becoming irritated again. 

“At least come back so everyone stops whining.”

“Who’s whining?” Ryan finds himself asking. 

“Mostly Geoff, who else.” Michael replies and that gets him a raspy laugh from Ryan. But the Warlock relents. He can’t go back to the Tower. Not right now, at least. 

“I just need to make sure I have it under control,” He tells Michael. “I don’t know if you plan on telling Zavala but-”

“I don’t. Gavin doesn’t wanna tell Cayde either. Especially not after how the Vanguard reacted to you the first time around, so. Don’t worry about that.”

Ryan only nods and barely gets out a thank you. Gavin has a big mouth, but, he can keep it shut when it needs to be. He’d learnt that the hard way, and he remembers bitter sweetly that they all did. 

Michael can recognise a losing battle, so he takes his helmet in both hands. He goes to put it on and then stops halfway.

“Home isn’t the Tower, Ryan. Home is with us.”

And that sends a touch of warmth through Ryan that he can still feel even when Michael leaves and ascends into the daylight. He knows that to be true.

And it’s the one reminder he has even when he can feel himself slipping. Every time the blade calls to him, when the darkness pulls against his Light.

He’d control it. For them. So he could come home. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally inspired by some sad headcanons from madkingray -- the creator of the ah destiny au -- on Tumblr. Go follow her for more info and headcanons on the au!


End file.
